Monthly Archives: December 2021

Relationships during tough times Pt2

Hi Lovies, It’s your favorite farming yogi, Tei, The NeoUrbanist. Last week, I shared with you a part of the Book of Ruth. If you didn’t have an opportunity to read that post check it out here “Relationship during tough times pt1”.
So you say Tei, why is this portion of the story so significant? Well, I’m glad you asked. You see, once the ladies part ways you never hear about Orpah again. With love-filled hearts, Naomi and Ruth wished Oprah well on her journey and moved on with their lives. In my mind, there is no way they didn’t miss her. They had lived, loved, and lost together.  I believe they understood that their paths were no longer meant to intertwine. This can be applied to all forms of relationships because, well frankly put, all relationships are not meant to last forever, and adversity is often the catalyst that reveals this fact.

This pandemic is no exception.  As a collective, we have had to work harder to stay connected. It wasn’t safe to gather, financial changes caused unexpected relocations. Some of us experienced illness.  We had to more than just WANT to stay connected. We had to be willing to do the work to stay connected. It is painful to know that you are not someone’s choice when they are yours. But as Ruth demonstrated in the story, when someone wants to be in your life, they put the effort forth.  Orpah was not a bad person, nor does it mean that she was never dedicated to Ruth. What it does mean is that the circumstances for their pairing changed and staying with Naomi wasn’t the same priority.  So this holiday season when you are reflecting on your relationships I want you to love yourself enough to remember this tip 

Allow people to do what they want to do so that you can see what they would rather do, then govern yourself accordingly”;  understanding that just because you may not be the “rather” in the equation does not make what you shared any less real or beautiful. It does not mean that you are unworthy. It simply means your paths are no longer meant to intertwine.  The realization that everyone is not meant to be in your life forever may cause you to feel a myriad of emotions. Acknowledge your feelings, embrace and revel in the good memories, and move on with peace.

 Love on yourself until next time Lovies.

 Bye For Now, 


Relationships during tough times

Hi Lovies, It’s your favorite farming yogi, Tei, The NeoUrbanist. Living through a global pandemic has been rough on all of us in so many ways. As the holidays approach I wanted to talk about relationships. A friend mentioned the struggle she faced with some of her relationships ending during this global pandemic. I shared a love story found in the Bible from the Book of Ruth. Rather than focus on the actual love story of Ruth and Boaz, I wanted to bring light to the relationships between the three women in the story.  I will sum it up quickly for you.

Three women (Naomi, Ruth, and Orpah) were faced with tragedy, and all became widows. With no spouses to provide for them, Naomi (the matriarch) makes the decision to send her daughter in laws back to their families because she is returning to her homeland.  When presented with the option to return home, Orpah returned to her family, but Ruth refused. The famous line that is often spoken as bridal wedding vows, “Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried” was born from Ruth’s refusal to leave Naomi. 

I’ll break here and pick up next week on why I believe this story is so significant to all of us learning to put SelfFirst while still nurturing the relationships in our lives. 

Bye for Now,


Thank you Tei, we can’t wait till next week to see what’s next! So, SelfFirster’s, when you think about the relationships in your life… are there any vows to a friend or promises that you have made that are no longer align with your current vision and dream for your life?

How do you nurture a relationship with yourSELF that allows you to be a better friend in the relationships you treasure?

Remember it is about you! @shawannaksays

Meet “The Neourbanist”

The Self First Movement is excited to have “Tei The Neourbanist” come aboard as a featured contributing writer. Get ready to see a different perspective of farming and yogi as we know it. I like to introduce to some a present to others Tei.