Enjoy Your Life: Change Your Point of View

“Two men look out through the same bars: One sees the mud, and one sees the stars.”- Frederick Langbridge, A Cluster of Quiet Thoughts

If you’ve placed second in a writing contest, will you jump for joy and push for better results the next time or will you be discouraged and find an excuse not to join again?

In life, you are always filled with choices. You may opt to have a pessimist’s view and live a self-defeated life or you may decide to take the optimist’s route and take a challenging and fulfilling life.

So why nurture an optimist’s point of view? And why now?

Well, optimism has been linked to positive mood and good morale; to academic, athletic, military, occupational and political success; to popularity; to good health and even to long life and freedom from trauma.

On the other hand, the rates of depression and pessimism have never been higher. It affects middle-aged adults the same way it hits younger people. The mean age of onset has gone from 30 to 15. It is no longer a middle-aged housewife’s disorder but also a teen-ager’s disorder’ as well.

Here’s how optimists are in action and researches that back up why it really pays to be an optimist:

The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events, which will last a long time and undermine everything they do, are their own fault.

The truth is optimists are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world. What differs is the way they explain their misfortune—it’s the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case.

Optimists tend to focus on and plan for the ‘problem’ at hand. They use ‘positive reinterpretation.’ In other words, they most likely reinterpret a negative experience in a way that helps them learn and grow. Such people are unfazed by bad situation, they perceive it is a challenge and try harder.

They won’t say “things will never get better,” “If I failed once, it will happen again” and “If I experience misfortune in one part of my life, then it will happen in my whole life.”

Positive expectancies of optimists also predict better reactions during transitions to new environments, sudden tragedies and unlikely turn of events. If they fall, they will stand up. They see opportunities instead of obstacles.

People respond positively to optimists

Optimists are proactive and less dependent on others for their happiness. They find no need to control or manipulate people. They usually draw people towards them. Their optimistic view of the world can be contagious and influence those they are with.

Optimism seems a socially desirable trait in all communities. Those who share optimism are generally accepted while those who spread gloom, panic and hysteria are treated unfavorably.

In life, these people often win elections; get voted most congenial and sought for advice.

When the going gets tough, optimists get tougher

Optimists typically maintain higher levels of subjective well-being during times of stress than do people who are less optimistic. In contrast, pessimists are likely to react to stressful events by denying that they exist or by avoiding dealing with problems. Pessimists are more likely to quit trying when difficulties arise.

They persevere. They just don’t give up easily, they are also known for their patience. Inching their way a step closer to that goal or elusive dream.

Optimists are healthier and live longer

Medical research has justified that simple pleasures and a positive outlook can cause a measurable increase in the body’s ability to fight disease.

Optimists’ health is unusually good. They age well, much freer than most people from the usual physical ills of middle age. And they get to outlive those prone to negative thoughts.

So why not be an optimist today? And think positively towards a more fulfilled life.

Why not look forward to success in all your endeavors? Why not be resilient? Like everybody else you are bound to hit lows sometimes but don’t just stay there. Carry yourself out of the mud and improve your chances of getting back on the right track. And why not inspire others to remove their dark-colored glasses and see life in the bright side?
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What does internal peace mean for you? Does it mean a place of sanctuary where you can come home from stressful situations and find that place of safety away from the ‘cares of the world’? Does it mean a place where you can be yourself without the facade many of us wear throughout the day so that people won’t know how we really feel? Or is this place (often our home) one more place where we need to defend ourselves from the ongoing onslaught of anger, hostility, and power games that are so often the measure of our lives in the 21st century?

The dictionary defines internal as: having to do with or situated inside of the body; of relating to, or existing within the mind. Peace is defined as: a state of calm and quiet; freedom from disturbing thoughts; and an agreement to end hostilities. For the purpose of this article I will combine these two notions and define internal peace as: the integration of our thoughts and feelings culminating in a state of tranquility and harmony. One of the most important keys for this tranquility and harmony or ‘peace of mind’ as it is often called, is to honour our emotional nature and find methods to express feelings in appropriate ways that allow us to release them.

Practical Steps to Releasing Emotions

1. Learn to listen to yourself. Many of us have been harried for so long that we are out-of-touch with how we feel. A situation will present itself and we will ‘flip out’ and find it unbelievable that we have lost control. This actually results from a build-up of emotions that we have not been aware of.

2. Accept responsibility for your feelings. No one makes you feel anything; rather you choose how you think and feel based on what you interpret the situation to be. Blaming others gives away your power and when you feel like a ‘victim’ you react with anger and resentment.

3. Talk to a trusted friend or counsellor. Finding a ‘safe place’ where you are able to express feelings without anyone judging you provides an opportunity to release pent-up emotions.

4. Accept yourself. You are not supposed to be perfect and learning to accept yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses creates feelings of peace within.

5. Don’t judge yourself. Judging yourself means thinking you have to be perfect and creates feelings of not being ‘good enough.’ When feeling inadequate you judge yourself harshly and no matter what you do it will never be ‘good enough.’

6. Let go of the past. The past is over and you did the best you could with what you knew at the time. If the past evokes memories of painful experiences for you, release the memories and find forgiveness for yourself and/or others. This doesn’t mean you condone these behaviors. It means you release the memories and feelings to find your own inner healing and peace.

7. Learn to relax. Many methods exist that contribute to staying in balance and harmony. Practicing meditation as a daily ritual, reading, exercising, walking, or creating a sacred space where you can spend time feeling a sense of renewal and refreshment are all methods that take you away from focusing on ‘what is wrong’ to seeing yourself as having ‘control of your life.’

8. Practice gratitude. What you pay attention to increases as you give energy to your thoughts. Thoughts of peace, love, and abundance increases the inner healing and peace and leads to living lives that feel more balanced and harmonious.

9. Keep a journal. People have used journaling for many years in order to release emotions and make sense of what is going on. This journal or notebook is for your eyes only and allows you to say anything you want without anybody seeing it except you. Once expressed, emotions tend to dissipate and you will find they are released through this exploration. If this process doesn’t totally release them the first time, repeat the exercise.

10. Spend time in nature. We are part of nature and when we re-connect with the natural world we touch our inner self/ spiritual connection to something more. That something more is our connection to the Universal Energy whether we call it God, Goddess, All That Is, or Higher Power. Whatever we call it, when we feel connected to the ‘Whole’ we recognize our place in the world and feel a sense of peace and harmony and that ‘all is right in our world.’ Put you back on the list and win within! #selffirst #POMPOM http://www.theselffirstmovement.com

Collaboration is a must in order to accomplish greater. And just DON’T forget when doing so…remain true to you!Know that it will take courage patience and persistance but it can be done. #greatertogether #selffirst in order to better serve others. http://www.theselffirstmovement.com Thank you @brenebrown

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